do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
