There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
