yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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