I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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