Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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