you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
