I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
