How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
