just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
