trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
