Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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