did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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