Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
