she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
