needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
