I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
