Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My ATM looks so different sober.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
