Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
