I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
