maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
there is glitter all over my balls
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
