Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
