He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
