his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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