Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
