What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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