Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
