winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
