ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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