How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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