i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize