it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
