dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
