he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
