i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
