he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just googled if crying burns calories
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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