the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Less talking, more tequila
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
