You're a womanizer and a bitch.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
