she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
