Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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