Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
