How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
