Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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