no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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