Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
