There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
