I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
