Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
