No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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