Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
