He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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